I popped in the video I have of the first Metallica concert I attended (1993) this afternoon and felt the same rush today as I did when I was at the concert. It was my first real concert - no, that is a lie but there is no way I am admitting to what my actual first concert was - and I was so excited to see this band I thought I was going to throw up when we were lined up outside the venue. The only other time I've felt like that at a concert was at the Big Day Out this year when I drove over the hill and saw the trees surrounding the venue and realised I was about to see My Chemical Romance in a matter of hours.

My other favourite concert memory is from a Velvet Revolver concert. When Slash came out on stage, KT and I just grabbed each other and freaked out. This, and my cancer, were the defining moments that have led us to go to as many concerts as we can. We wouldn't (and didn't) have thought about going to concerts five years ago like we do now. I guess if I had to find a bright side to getting breast cancer, it would be that it gave me a kick up the arse to actually get off my arse and do the things I wanted to do when I was well enough again to do them. Now if I am away from the office, or they phone in and someone else answers the phone, they next time they see me they ask which concert I've just been to. I'm going to Surfers for a week at the end of November and I'm already preparing for the question "what concert are you going to?". None :(, just going on holiday. Though you never know who might announce concerts for Brisbane while we are in the area.

MCR, HIM and Linkin Park - no fair. I so live in the wrong country. I would love to see those three bands on the same tour. Why am I on the My Chemical Romance newsletter list - it just depresses me when I get an update telling me about new tour dates and the bands they are playing with. ::huge sigh:: Not really, I am just incredibly envious of everybody who gets to go to these things.

I had a random bloody nose yesterday. I have never had a bloody nose before in my life. That had better not be a sign of some other health issue I'll have to deal with.

Only a week and a half to go working with the dickhead in our office. An office of eight and three of us can't wait for this guy to leave (that I know of). So damn happy he's going.

Hopefully I am over my computer avoidance phase now. I think the change may have had something to do with my i-pod playing a heap of MCR songs while on shuffle while I was out walking last night. I must have looked like a right idiot grinning and mouthing the words everytime an MCR song came on. My i-pod played Teenagers and Mama and I have such strong memories of seeing the band play those two songs at The Big Day Out in January this year. Hearing the songs made me want to find new pictures and read more fics and just get back into MCR things again (and the computer).

I am supposed to be planning our (three branches) office annual retreat weekend but really have no idea where to start. I have to find activities that 60 people can compete in so one of the branches can win the ugliest trophy ever seen. Activities that people from their early twenties to their late sixties can all take part in. It is giving me a headache. It is also hard when last year's was so good and people are still saying how great it was. ::head meets desk::

KT and I were considering the pros and cons of going to the Guns N' Roses concert in Auckland, NZ in a couple of months. We decided to save our money for when Velvet Revolver (who really are more of GN'R than what Axl will be bringing with him) come at the end of the year (confirmed by Slash) and when MCR come back to do a proper tour of NZ (fingers crossed the MCR one happens). We thought if we shelled out the money for concert and plane tickets we could be stuck if Axl had one of his 'don't want to go on stage tonight' fits. So hurry up VR and MCR - your NZ tour announcements would make me feel so much better, I've got enough health issues to worry about and concert announcment would so take my mind of that.

I've been away from the computer for too long. Upside being there should be a heap of slash to read.

Went to Christchurch with KT for the Arrested Development / Simple Minds / INXS concert beginning of the month. We were 'upgraded' at The Dodgy Motel (which I have forgotten the actual name of because I have called it The Dodgy Motel for so long) to a house that slept 8 (for the two of us!). But the funniest thing was we had to lock the garage door with a plastic mop handle jambed down the side of the garage door arm. This was what was keeping us safe and secure. I couldn't stop laughing.

Things have been really busy at work so no time to play on the computer. Too many concerts, Easter, end of the financial year so I have been cramming a weeks work in to two days some weeks.

But on a happy note arsewipe will be leaving our employment by the end of next month - he has had a job offer he couldn't refuse. It was all I could do to stop myself from screaming with joy when he told us he was leaving.

Going to check on the slash now.

There is this guy in my office, he's in his early/mid 40's and he's an arsewipe. I am finding it harder and harder to like him as the weeks go by - he's only been here just over six months. This is the first time in all the years that I have worked here that there is someone in the office who I would rather not work with. He says things like excrement instead of excellent and even if you ask him not to because you find it disgusting he just keeps doing it. He is the most immature 40-something I have ever met.

Last Friday we had a social club event and one of the younger guys was drunk and sitting at the same table as me one person away and everytime I ate anything he would say "My Chemical Romance would like those cucumber slices", "My Chemical Romance would like that steak", on and on until he had finished his meal and moved away. I just looked at him and smiled sweetly every time he said anything. Then at the end of the night he was standing beside me saying "My Chemical Romance would be leaving now too", "My Chemical Romance are shit". I only see this guy on these social club events and he had no reason to be saying anything about MCR to me unless arsewipe told him to say something to me. Arsewipe is taking something I enjoy and turning it in to a joke.

If there is a conversation regarding music in any shape or form aresewipe always has to drop in to the conversation "I wonder if we will still be talking about My Chemical Romance in 30 years time". He's only doing it to get a rise out of me but it's not working as I don't reply.

HE IS SO IRRITATING!!

Glad I got that out - back to work now :)

Especially for offonmars My Alchemy Gothic jewellery

A necklace I bought from Dracula's Gift Store, Surfers Paradise, Australia



( text )

So I bought a cd yesterday (Goodnight Nurse - Kiwi band) and listened to it while reading a lovely Gerard / Frank fic. The cd ends and I leave it running and about 10 minutes later the lead singer is screaming out "Fuck You Bitch!", "You Fucking Slut!". I almost fall off my bed I get such a fright. It was so out of context with the rest of the cd and so freaking loud after 10 minutes of silence. Fucking hidden tracks!

Holidays and concerts have been aplenty these first three months of 2007. I've been out of town and country to see Rock Star Supernova twice.

( is someone being spanked upstairs )

It has been a great two weeks of Rock Star Supernova concerts, days away from work, I Don't Love You being on the tv the night before heading to Melbourne.

I was hoping to have some time this week to check out what is happening in the My Chem world and catch up on some slash fics but even though it was a fun week I didn't get to play on the computer as much as I would have liked. It's hard to find the time to get your work done so you can have a few minutes on the internet when you are constantly interrupted with the most ridiculous things.

I am the only female in an office with seven men, though sometimes I think a more apt description would be hopeless idiots. Sometimes I feel like I am babysitting. They are grown men, quite smart, really great guys but don't seem to be able to do anything themselves. How hard is it to do things like open a drawer to get an order book out? Apparently it is very difficult because I have to stop whatever I am doing and do this for them. Every single day at least two of them make me want to slam my head against my desk. Today I think one of the guys left his brain at home. They are getting worse as the years go on or maybe I am just noticing it more. I will come back from my trip to Australia to find all the office equipment has broken down and no one will know what to do because getting the manual out and reading the troubleshooting page is a far too complicated thing to actually do. I enjoy my job, but just wish at times these guys could actually do some of those simple things themselves so I could get on with my work.

Tomorrow I am off to KT's house for tea and My Chem Making of FLW viewing (yay someone I can share my love of this band with in person) and also final planning for our trip to Melbourne, Australia mid next week to see her band (well the band member she would watch play the spoons and be willing to pay hundreds of dollars and have really shitty seats just because it was him :)). She did stand in the hot sun for three hours with me when I met My Chem so I would happily do whatever she wanted to do for the chance to meet her band.

I have been in a good mood all week which is really weird (for me). Today has been particularly good with a two hour lunch with my bestest friend cos it's her birthday - so lots of gossip and band talk and pressies and cake. And then I get back to work to an email from offonmars with a link to the My Chem I Don't Love You vid and my boss is away and one of the guys in the office has his six year old sitting in our meeting room watching Spongebob Squarepants and he is just the cutest thing ever... I like this week, but in particular, this day.

Next week shouldn't suck either - going to Melbourne, Australia for a Rock Star Supernova concert - cos my bestest friend luvs luvs luvs Tommy Lee. Have never been to Melbourne but have heard nothing but good things about it.

Why do they keep giving away things with The Black Parade album? Now it's a The Black Parade tote bag. I've already got two copies of the album (orginal / limited) but I wanted a bag just cos, though what would I do with three copies of the album? Good thing there was an option - NZ$23 for the album and get a free bag or $2 to purchase a bag separately. What will they give away next? Got the t-shirt, got the bag, perhaps a hat?

I spent last night from 8pm to 3am at the Relay For Life Cancer Society fundraiser. The live music was a bit blah - nothing from the last 30 years, but it was a great event and hopefully they raised a heap of money. I didn't attend the Surviors lap that opened the event, but might next time the event is back in town in two years. I wondered if the lap would be a bit too much for me as I am trying to move on with my life after cancer and I didn't really want to be put on display as a 'survivor' though I can see how it helps people realise that cancer isn't an immediate death sentence for everyone. And you do get a sash to wear if you are a survivor and walk the first lap. Though what I would I do with a purple sash?

I was there for the candlelight memorial for those people who didn't survive their fight with cancer. There was a guy addressing the crowd, not that you could see him from the track, but he had the most depressing monotone speaking voice I have ever heard. I know it was a very sad occasion for a lot of people there who were marching for loved ones they had lost but I believe it was just made worse by the way the guy was speaking.

Though on the upside I did get a free leg massage from a very cute physio student. He was hot and the massage was so good and my legs didn't hurt today.

I am going to be so tired and bitchy tomorrow at work and I really should get to bed cos I am not one of those people who goes to bed and is asleep five minutes later. I'll still be awake an hour or two later making the alarm seem to go off even earlier.

I am in such a bad mood today and I really don't want to be at work. Things weren't looking good when the cd single I woke up to got stuck playing Famous Last Words 'Well I kno-kno-kno-kno...' NO!!! It certainly got me out of bed as I rescued the cd.

But I had a fun weekend involving motorbikes, mcr, the used, metallica...

A friend was given free tickets to the first of the Crusty Demons (motorcycle freestylers) World Tour - it started in my piddly little home town. Both of us are not really into this sort of thing but thought we'd check it out and we had such a great time. Crazy young men (and one woman) flipping and jumping dirt bikes off ramps, loud as hell rock music, a brawl in the crowd beside us, drunk parents dropping their kids on to the concrete stands in front of us. It was great (well not the drunk parents, but the rest of it was). They played Helena during one set of jumps which just made the evening even better. When (if) they come back I would pay to go to this. It was freakin' awesome.

An hour to go before I can leave this place ugh.

My house is all mine. My sister moved in with her boyfriend yesterday and I am so happy to finally have the place to myself and be able to blast MCR morning, noon and night if I so please and not have to share the place with a couple every weekend and be able to put pretty Gerard and Frank and Ray and Bob and Mikey pictures all over the house if I want to.

happychairdance

My pics from the signing tent at the Big Day Out last Friday. Ray and Mikey were hard to get as they were sitting down for the signing and then there were all the people you had to fight through and just when you had a good shot someone would bump you or the same damn security guard would stand right in front of you!










this be the annoying as fuck security guard

Finally back at a computer. Big Day Out Auckland concert has been attended and I loved (nearly) every moment of it. Enjoyed the bands we got to see on the two main stages. MCR were standing to the side of theie stage for about 15 mins before their 3.20pm time slot so we got to watch them through binoculars high fiving, putting their ears in, Alicia running round the stage organising things, Fake!Frank hanging around waiting. They were the first band of the day on the main stages to pack out the area. Loved every minute of their set, got really crappy far away photos as my other 10x zoom camera was confiscated at the gate, but it was great just seeing them live.

I met My Chemical Romance. It was completely worth the three hours of being crushed and sunburnt. The lines were badly organised but my concert buddy K and I managed to get in the correct line and get one of the magical golden tickets each that guaranteed you were one of the 300 people getting in to the signing tent for MCR. 300 people out of thousands of fans. There were a few tears. And man I felt old. I'm a couple of years older than Gerard and the majority of the queue would have averaged out at about 17 years old. And I guess I wasn't 'Emo' enough to be classed as an MCR fan for the person handing out cd singles for the signing tent as he gave me The Killers and K was like "No, we're here for My Chemical Romance."

So no Frank, which was a bit disappointing, but we'll catch him when they come back. The guys were so nice and accommodating. K went first to give me more time to freak out / calm down / stare as I am the huge fan and she was the poor friend dragged along who now has a great appreciation of this band.

Bob was first, standing up, sunglasses on
B: Hi, how are you? (shakes hands)
K: Fine thanks (puts picture I'd printed out for her to get signed down)
B: That's fancy
K: (pointing to me) She made it. (Bob signs) Thanks

B: Hi, how are you? (puts hand out to shake - now I have lymphodaema in my right arm and have to wear a compression sleeve and fingerless glove and I wanted to touch these people!)
WH: Um, Hi (holds up gloved hand and holds out left hand to shake)
B: Oh (turns his right hand upside down and shakes my left hand)
WH: (puts picture down to sign - Bob signs it right over his face) Thanks

Mikey was second, sitting down with his sunglasses on and his fringe curled back off his forehead - so cute:)
M: Hi (puts hand out to shake)
WH: Um, Hi (holds up gloved hand and holds out left hand to shake)
M: Oh (turns his right hand upside down and shakes my left hand)
WH: (puts picture down to sign) Thanks

Ray was third, sitting down with his sunglasses on
R: Hello, how are you? (puts hand out to shake)
WH: Hi, Um (holds up gloved hand and holds out left hand to shake)
R: Oh (puts out his left hand to shake my left hand)
WH: (puts picture down to be signed) Thank you
R: I hope you get better soon
WH: (all flustered) Oh it's cancer
R: Oh (at this point I want to smack myself in the forehead and explain that my arm won't get better, it's a side effect from treatment for breast cancer, but the cancer (hopefully) is gone but the next person in line was already standing in front of Ray)

Gerard was last, standing up, no sunglasses on - his eyes are beautiful. Concert buddy K - excellent concert buddy
G: Hello, how are you? (shakes hands)
K: Nice to meet you. Welcome to New Zealand.
G: Hey thanks. Thank you for having us. You have a beautiful country.
K: You'll have to come back.
G: God yeah. We will definately be back.

G: Hello, how are you? (puts hand out to shake)
WH: Um (holds up gloved hand and holds out left hand to shake)
G: Oh (turns his right hand upside down and shakes my left hand)
WH: (puts picture down to sign) Thank you

I was completely floored that I was meeting the band that I didn't really know what to say to them, and then when I did speak I just felt stupid.

It was an amazing experience, one I shall never forget. You weren't allowed to take photos while you were meeting them but you could before and after you were out of the tent.

Had a fantastic day and am now back at work and exhausted.

HAHAHA!!! I MET MY FAVOURITE BAND!!!!!!!!

I am off to Auckland tomorrow.
I am going to the Big Day Out on Friday.
I am going to see My Chemical Romance in concert for the first time.
I am staying away from web sites and rumours as to whether Frank will be there.
I am going to be lining up at the signing tent to hopefully have the chance to meet My Chem.

I AM BEYOND EXCITED

2007 - I have decided will be the year of me. Selfish? Maybe, but I seriously need to take control of my life and that has been hard to do while flatting with my sister. Everything that is mine is apparently hers and everything that is hers is just hers. I have no privacy and after living together for longer than anticipated I bit the bullet and asked her move out by the end of January. There have been a number of events that have contributed to me asking her to move out. I had to do it now before I ended up never wanting to have anything to do with her.

Now that I have that situation under control I can concentrate on other parts of my life and not having to explain everything I am doing and why I am doing it will help in actually getting things done. I feel so free already.

Just over two weeks until I see MCR in concert. I get that nervous / excited / sick feeling whenever one of their videos comes on the tv. Cannot wait to see them.

The house I have lived in for the last six years came with a garden gnome in the front garden. This gnome has been in the same spot for goodness knows how long. It was there with the previous two owners of the hous, it was just known that if you lived in the house the gnome stayed with the new tenants.

Today I mow the lawn and notice that the gnome has gone. Some bugger has taken the gnome! WTF? I don't know how long he's been gone, he was just always there so I didn't check every day to make sure he was still sitting under his tree, now he's gone.

Why would someone take a garden gnome?!

Christmas day is nearly over here in NZ and it was actually quite a nice day weatherwise for once. Went to the parents house where we sat outside in the sun and ate our bbq lunch. My immediate family has been sick this last week, including me, so we had to abandon plans to go to our aunts house - nothing says 'I love you' like coughing all over your cousins ;)

So being sick for the last week hasn't made for a very exciting first few days off work. I have spent them either curled up in bed sleeping or curled up on the armchair watching dvd movies. I'm ready to be well again thank you very much - though I'll take this cold / flu over four years ago when Christmas came 12 days after I had surgery to remove a cancerous lump from my right breast. Yep, I'll take a cold over having to go through chemo again.

MCR's song Cancer was really hard for me to listen to at first. I would be in tears just from the opening note and have to skip the song. It hit way too close to home for me; the lines 'know that I will never marry' and 'the hardest part of this is leaving you' were so hard to hear as during my worst course of chemo when I thought I was going to die they were the exact things I was thinking about.

It's been four years and I am making the most of being here. One more year before I am out of the five year span of when the cancer is more likely to come back. Man, I should just go to Evanescence in Aussie even though I can't afford it at all - you don't know what is around the corner.

On a good note, even less days to wait until January 19th when I get to see (and hopefully meet) MCR now.

Thank you offonmars for all the pretty you have showered on me.

I have been counting down to today - last day of work for the year. It has been a really hectic year at work with no let up. I am looking forward to spending two weeks doing nothing stressful and at an incredibly less frantic pace. I enjoy my job but not the fact that I don't get to play on the internet :).

How do you ask your flatmate, who is also your sister, to move out because you want the place to yourself? ugghhhhh

First things first, thanks to pink_charlotte for my Amy icon - pretty.

Secondly offonmars you bitch! I <3 you so much!!! I received a parcel from you yesterday. I cannot believe you sent me that incredibly beautiful velvet box of MCR goodness. I didn't want to touch it for fear of making it dirty. You so shouldn't have done that, but I love you for it (and all of the other things too).

Best thing about this morning - waking up to hear Frank Iero on the radio talking about coming to NZ in January, his past injuries, tattoos and how he proposed to Jamia.

Worst thing about this morning - getting to work to find out Evanescence are touring Australia February next year and I am so disappointed because I can't afford to go. I knew that if Evanescence did tour this way it would be early on in the year and I have spent all the money I have (and some I don't) on seeing MCR in January and two more other bands in March.

I enjoyed seeing the sun in Surfers Paradise on holiday last week. Enjoyed the malls, the theme park we went to, the resort we stayed at. Didn't enjoy Australia Zoo because it was too hot there to be enjoyable. Did get to see Terri Irwin though.

I have been back at work for four and a half days and it feels like I never had a holiday. Now I need to catch up on what is happening in LJ and MCR world.